Men : The Expendable and silent Gender

Above image captures the advise men get when they report discrimination, ill-treatment & unfair laws.

Marriage or Relationship — Men are victims of false accusations and litigations. The trend is dangerously increasing in India and globally.

Patterns of relationship discord

Patterns of relationship discord noticed by men in any form of domestic relationship are -

1. Relentless nagging on petty matters by wife or female partner
2. Verbal and physical abuse on men
3. Deserting husband/male partner without any intimation — with malaise intention to intimidate mentally
4. Filing false cases of dowry harassment
5. Asking for a separate accommodation when there are no issues in the current home

Reasons

1. Gender biased laws — Every law is pro-women , not a single one for men. Consider Domestic Violence Act, Dowry harassment, Negligence law (CrPC 125)
2. Mental conditioning — Men are expected to bear the burden of violence and work since childhood. Hence its difficult for men to differentiate when they are subject to discrimination — whether by spouse or a girlfriend.
3. Society’s outlook : “Only Women are victims” — There is a great mental conditioning at work in society as well. “Men cannot be hurt — emotionally or physically” — which is untrue. That’s the reason no one raises voice about violence on men. This is rampant even in movies — where it’s perfectly fine for a man to die , but it’s unbearable for a woman to even get a scratch on forehead This influences our neighbors, friends / colleagues, the judiciary and the policy makers. In fact , this partly explains point 1.
4. Brainwashing by Fake feminism — There is a grave misinterpretation of inequality of women. Economically weak women are projected by society’s well-todo section to gain publicity projecting men as savages. While violence on women is not acceptable & they do deserve justice, why should those instances be used to generalize behavior or nature of men. Millions of men suffer due to false cases by these feminists and the organizations that support them. The result is innocent men are subject to torture.
5. Lack of realization and support by men : Men don’t help their own gender when they see other male victims — be it their brothers, friends, colleagues. The preconception is that this man has definitely done something wrong.

Consequences

Innocent men are -

1. Forced to spend time and hard earned money fighting false litigations. Many have lost jobs having to spend time in courts — for no fault of theirs.
2. Face sense of alienation by own colleagues and relatives
3. Uncertain on what would happen next to the relationship and their own future
4. Alienated from their own children
5. Forced to part away with their hard earned money in the name of support for “weak” , (but well earning) women.
6. Men are forced to commit suicide seeing no avenue for relief or support

Call to Action

If you are a Man , you need to wake up to the following -

1. Start with yourself : Assess if you are a victim of discrimination — Verbal, Emotional or Physical. Estranging women partners play on the following -
2. Emotional abuse by shutting off conversations unless you agree to their unjust demands of attention and money / luxuries
3. Physical abuse — particularly playing the woman victim card
4. Mental abuse
5. Start with your neighborhood — See if you notice signs of violence among your brothers, colleagues, friends. Listen to them , understand their problems and sympathize with them. Don’t dismiss their problems.
6. Embolden your demands for equality — for self, for your gender (Men) . Don’t give in to the unjust demands of women. Fight along with Men’s rights activists.

This world is meant to be for Men too — not just women.

References

1. NCBI : https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6437789/#:~:text=In%20the%20present%20study%2C%2052.4,by%20physical%20violence%20(6%25).
2. Wiki : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_against_men
3. Sage Journal : https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2631831819894176
4. There are many more. I am sure you will find them effortlessly.